Tag Archive | depression

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

The Route to Maturity

Self-pity is a big fat tantrum that  leads to depression because you lost your inner compass. You made a detour that lead to a path with no light at the end.

You are now open to negative influence because with darkness around, you don’t have light to see the origin of anything that comes your way. You walk around blind in a pit of self-pity.

And when no one turns around to look at you and validate your woes, you decide to do whatever it takes….

Whatever it takes to get noticed.

Little did you know that the cure for self-pity is responsibility. It’s growing up and accepting the things you can’t fix and fixing the things you can. It’s finding another route. It’s finding the bridge back to your main route. And when you find it, there is light and you can now see what exactly you are up against.

You are in control, more than you know. You have a voice even if you think no one is listening and you can change YOUR world, one day at a time. You decide what you choose to see each day.

To The Sick Everywhere

You know being sick sucks. It’s draining, life changing and in many ways damaging. However, lately I’ve been thinking about how we as sick people look at life. Do you sit around moping or do you get up and try to change your world each day at a time? I’ve had people ask me why I’m so happy. I am honestly not quite happy but I do know and accept ( for the most part) that I need to do what I can to change my perception. It’s not about mysticism, it’s not about self- help, it’s about trusting in GOD! YES! Life isn’t easy and some of us are blessed with supportive friends, families and doctors, but honestly, some of us don’t. Sometimes people and life WILL fail us. However, God will never fail us. He is in every way perfect and in every way loving. If it wasn’t for faith a year ago, I wonder where I’d be today. Would I be full of depression, sorrow, no hope for a future? Would I be devastated that In many cases I am unloved even by kin? I know some people reading don’t believe in God and some might but not in Jesus Christ. Let me tell you, Jesus is the only way to true inner peace. He becomes bigger than your problems, your illnesses, your past, and your present. He becomes bigger than the people that hurt you. You start learning how to relax and find peace in his love and mercy. You begin to see the beauty in the new life he has given you. How does this happen? Well, I have to say that being perfect is out of the question. You can’t buy God’s love. You also can’t work for it. However, you will have to give up a lot of things you hold dearly. Those things are pride, hate, anger, bitterness, laziness, addictions. It will be a process! However, don’t worry, Jesus gave us a counselor who is better than any therapist and his name is Holy Spirit. He’s awesome. He’s a very gentle spirit. He won’t leave you to figure it out on your own. Everything you need, he has it. Just ask him.

I am far from perfection. Everyday I am humbled by his love for me. Despite all the bad in my life, I’ve decided to cling to the good. No matter where you find yourself today, give it to Jesus. This isn’t just a message for those who are ill but for those who feel hopeless, rejected, afraid or bound by addictions. There is hope but it’s only found in the messiah.