Tag Archive | Joy

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

3/25/2017

Its time for a joy post! YAY!

  • This morning I had a delicious breakfast: my new found love – well done sunny side up eggs with basil, cheese and spinach. Gluten free garlic toast and some turkey bacon. I washed it all down with hot “tonic” water. Y’all might wonder why breakfast and food means so much to me. Well, when you have to fight yourself daily: fatigue and aches and pains, any amount of energy to make a healthy balanced breakfast is something to celebrate!
  • After a horrible and long couple of weeks, I finally resumed my routine! This has been a struggle for me for many years. You know how you beat yourself up for falling off the bandwagon. Not anymore! 😀 Slow and steady wins the race!
  • I got to see the sun rise!
  • I have made peace with my feelings. This doesn’t mean my problems go away, but I trust in a loving and powerful God that can do anything, including healing my pain and making me strong. I don’t have to bear unnecessary burdens alone, anymore.
  • I’m thankful for being alive today!

What are you guys thankful for? What brings you joy this morning?

I am Happy!

I woke up happy today.

Last night, I went to sleep while praying. It was comforting, ending the day in God’s presence. It was nothing fancy, just directing all my thoughts and emotions to Him, expressing everything I felt.

When I woke up, I felt a sense of joy and peace. The beauty of it all was that I allowed myself to be free. I will be honest, I had people telling me to keep quiet and not to feel a certain way, but I allowed myself to feel the worst of my feelings. I never expressed them but I felt them. I was also feeling really sick in my body and allowed myself to get full rest. I slept and ate whenever I wanted. This happened for a week. There were times I tried to talk myself out of it. There were times fear of not being strong enough or not getting things done crept into my mind. However, I silenced them really quickly and went back to resting my mind and body.

There is something so powerful about complete rest. When I felt the need to worry or be anxious about anything, I heard the loving voice of God saying that He is taking care of me. Someway and somehow, God will provide all that I need.

I keep thinking about God’s sovereignty. I had almost forgotten about it, being so focused on His loving friendship and parent-like care. But we must not forget that God is King and in complete control! He has an amazing way of putting the puzzle pieces of life together. He has a way of fixing our mess and creating a happy ending. He has a way of changing hearts. I needed to believe that my prayers were heard by a powerful and mighty God. I needed to believe that He is the one that changes hearts. Sometimes we believe that our will is higher than God’s, but if we read the Bible close enough, we see many times how His will and purpose prevails. He gives us chances to repent and turn back to Him, but none can contend with God. None can say they are their own god with their own power. When we believe that God is powerful and completely in charge, combined with love and care for us all, it allows us to completely trust in Him.

I woke up knowing that I am where I needed to be. I woke up knowing that if I wasn’t, He is faithful to correct me and set me on the right path. I woke up knowing that I am fine just the way I am. We get so caught up in being so strong that we forget that we don’t need to be. My strength comes from who God is! I can cry, scream, ask questions and share what is in my heart with a God that hears! I can fall apart and trust that He will mend me back together, as if I never was broken in the first place. He places a force field around my heart every time I give Him my pain!

When I am mistreated, I learned how to pray. Not just for my enemies but for myself. I learned that I have a God that will defend me. I use to cry that no one cared enough to ever stand up for me. I was the girl that stood up for everyone else, but was deserted when my time came. I find peace knowing that my God is fighting for me and I don’t have to anymore.

I find security knowing that I don’t really need anyone. Everything I need is in God. People are simply His hands and feet. We live in a needy world where people feel that they NEED people to survive. We must do whatever we can possible to keep all kinds of people around us to feel validated and secure. I know now that in my youth, that there was a wisdom in knowing that I did not need anyone. God has, in his wisdom, led people to me that have been a blessing to me. I cherish all those that obeyed God. This also released a burden from my heart. I don’t need to figure things out. I don’t need to have all the answers. PRAY! Point everyone to Jesus. If Jesus is the savior of our souls and the solution to all our troubles, then He is the one I should point to.

Jesus has fully consumed my life. Of course, there is so much to learn, but I am certain that He will never abandon me. I can finally rest and be free! No more chasing the wind…I find fulfillment in simply being God’s child and wherever He leads me, I will go.

 

Obey The Voice of The Lord

I’m not sure what to title this post. I’m not even sure this post will have a specific, main point but I have a few things I need to share for future reference.

  • Disobedience: It is costly. It can cost us our joy, peace, well-being, health, and life both spiritually and physically. It may seem trivial, the things God tells us to do, but He knows why we must do it.
  • Responsibility:  We are responsible for taking care of ourselves and making sure that our spirit and physical bodies are nourished. We are responsible for always being alert and on guard, knowing how to respond in all situations.

Don’t get caught up in petty foolishness. Some times we are tempted to let our guards down. But some conversations are costly. Some conversations can rob us of our peace. We must be picky and choosy about who we spend our time with, the shows we watch, where we go, etc. And if we steer off, run to Jesus and ask Him For forgiveness and help. Honestly, none of these things are possible without Christ. We cannot do anything right without Him. I no longer try to do good because I fail.

But lately my prayers have changed. I ask God to give me strength. I ask God for direction. I ask God for peace. I ask God what to do. I ask God to make me kind and loving. I ask God for all the promises in His word. And then in faith, going about my life…knowing He is faithful to do those things. Even as events are happening in my life, I am whispering a prayer.

When you are in constant prayer, you slow down and are mindful of your surroundings and your own internal feelings. You lift it all up to God and He tells you how to respond.

Disobedience is costly. I take full responsibility for how I am feeling right now. While I have so much to be thankful for, because of my disobedience, I am dealing with trivial feelings that could’ve been avoided. Instead of being thankful with all my heart, my mind is replaying what was meant as a distraction and of no significant purpose.

Guard your heart…..truly…guard it. Protect your heart and mind from everything and anything that will pull you away from the Joy of God.

It is MY responsibility to do so. I know in my heart that today is the LAST DAY that I am dealing with this issue. By faith I believe that God will give me the strength to walk away from pettiness and toxic conversations. It is not my duty to do anything but obey the voice of the LORD.

 

I guess I found a title after all…”Obey The voice of the Lord”.

A Gentle Reminder…

I want to take the time to address something I’ve been going through this week. My aim is to share my thoughts, feelings and the way I want to solve this issue.

I am naturally an ambition person. From since I was a child, I had goals, dreams ,  aspirations and set out to accomplish them all. Then life hit me. I was sick for a very long time.

I tried everything to get better from changing my diet to seeing different doctors but no one could help me. I was dismissed too. It was a very troubling time for me. My life came to a screeching halt.

This week I was feeling very anxious. I wanted things to change. I was restless again. Seeking any way I could change my reality. However, I had to pause. I had to take a deep breath and analyze my emotions. My feelings are so harsh. Why am I being so harsh on myself? I push myself daily to do things I couldn’t do a few years ago, even a few months ago. I made mistakes along the way but honestly, I should be celebrating the little accomplishments. But I couldn’t because I’m stuck in the future. I had to reel myself back into the present. I had to make up my mind to thank God for where I am today. I am a completely different person: new mindset, new outlook and doing a lot more than I’ve ever thought I could. Yes, it took years to get here, but so what! I should be thanking God for life! I should be thanking God that I can finally walk longer than a block without assistance. No longer throwing up my food. No longer feeling so tired I couldn’t get out of bed. Now, I can take very long walks. I can do light exercise! God revealed to me  the food that makes me sick (long but amazing testimony). My skin is glowing. I sleep like a normal person most of the time. Yes, I do have aches and pains…..BUT SO WHAT! When I get so caught up in the future, I must remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. One day I’ll look back at my youth and say…..she never gave up! She obeyed and trusted in God and look at what He’s done!

“Be kind to yourself”, I tell myself. “The whole world is harsh already. God loves you just the way you are. He knows your heart, He sees that you want to soar the clouds so badly, but learn to trust in Him for strength even in the ditch. A wise man said that you learn valuable lessons in the ditch. Lessons and skills that will help you once you reach the sky. Thank God, with a heart of gratitude for all your little accomplishments. You have nothing to prove to anyone but a testimony is being written as you live each day. Clothe yourself with joy and let the peace of God be your compass. The greatest accomplishment you can ever achieve in life is your God given calling and assignment. Everything else is to add a little flavor in between. Whatever God calls you to, He will get you to it. I owe Him my whole life.”

Much love to you all.

Do Not Hide

During my time talking to my Heavenly Father, I said something that really got me thinking. I said ” Lord, I will run to you and not hide like Adam did in the garden.”

The “me” from a few years ago, would hide from God. I would not pray, I would not seek him. I would not want to even hear him. I tried to hide ( and I learned very quickly that you cannot hide from God). I just didn’t want to be bothered. I couldn’t open up. I was confined to the borders of my mind and inner world.

That prayer allowed me to see just how much I’ve grown closer to God. I am naturally a private and quiet person but there is something comforting in being open and bare before the LORD.

Because of that prayer and confession, I was able to do what I am not able to do through my own effort. Trust me, it was effortless and came without regret, but my natural self wouldn’t normally do it. I rose above a seemingly annoying situation and can rest knowing that God gets the glory in the end.

There was a reason David was called a man after God’s heart. He was by no means perfect ( I am not condoning sin), but he ran to God for everything. He believed that God would not just hear him, but do something. He believed God would soothe the sting of sin in his life. He believed God could save him from his enemies. He believed it all and ran to God first, unlike Adam, who hid behind the bushes when God visited him and his wife. They hid from God. They tried to cover their shame from God. God never assumes anything even though he knows all and can give his judgement without our input. But God loves talk to us. Communication is the basis of our relationships. He asked Adam: ” where are you”, “who told you?” , and “did you?” God asked questions so we may give him answers. So we may express what is in us. They could’ve said ” God , help us. We disobeyed, save us from our poor decision!” The mercy of God would probably have been there to embrace them. But thank you God that your mercy was prepared before they were even created.

Mercy is wrapped up in a beautiful package. That package came to earth in the form of Jesus. Jesus reminds me daily of what God’s mercy looks like. I don’t have to do anything but run into my Father’s arms and snuggle close to him and say thank you. It is in his love that we find all that we need. Spiritual needs that outweigh everything else. The best part is, God can meet ALL of our needs too…just how he sees fit, as we know what he does is always best for us.

I guess all I wanted to say is that I will approach God boldly, without reserve and without fear. No fear because God is love. No fear because there is no condemnation to those that love Christ.