Tag Archive | prayer

Begging Vs Pleading

I woke up this morning and my first thoughts were on begging and pleading. I rolled over in bed asking myself, what in the world does pleading your case mean and why am I thinking about this?

I heard over and over again, in church and in songs, about pleading the blood. However, I never really fully understood the concept, so I looked up the definition. Pleading is a legal term. When someone is pleading in court they come with a statement or list of inquiries and complaints to a judge. The Judge has the power to execute a final judgement based on the evidence and facts presented. After reading that, my next question was ” So how does this apply to prayer?”

I just left that question to simmer while I took care of my morning duties but when I sat down, I started to pray. It was after the prayer ended that God revealed to me what it meant.

I’m quite sure you can do a google search and find many articles on this topic but for me, it’s just this simple: begging, throwing tantrums at God only shows Him that we don’t trust Him and are full of fear and anxiety. However, when someone is pleading their case, they have already identified the problem. They have identified the Judge: they truly believe that this judge has the power to help them with their situation. They believe that the judge is fair aka a fair hearing. They can approach the judge with confidence of being heard and not turned away, no matter how big or small the matter is.

We must believe that God is sovereign: all powerful and all knowing. We must believe He hears us and is fair. We must believe that He is loving and kind. We must believe that He has the power and the grace to take notice of us and our struggles. This way of thinking keeps us level headed and secure. We are not putting trust in ourselves but the Great Judge who has highest wisdom.

 

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

The Lady of Noble Character

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 30

Throughout history, since the beginning of time…women…women have always been on the quest for beauty.

This post will not be about beauty! We have tons of articles, personal accounts from women from various cultures and nations and just a plethora of stories about the standard of beauty. I am, however, talking about self-worth and the standard of character. It is not enough to be intelligent. No, it’s not. The modern woman wants to be successful in her career and her education. However, I am here to tell you that it’s meaningless (in King Solomon’s voice)! You see, that charm…that thing that makes us stand out…whether it be the way we carry ourselves, or the way we speak. Another word for charisma…well…that’s meaningless too. You might say, “has she gone mad?” Well here’s the thing. It’s God. Everything must point back to Jesus.

I realized that my beauty is fading. I’m simply getting older. I will wrinkle, I will sag and I will eventually have white hair. It’s a part of life none of us can escape. My charm, the IT factor. That thing that makes me stand out from the crowd, that too is deceptive. Why? Because it’s dependent on what others deem as charming. It’s dependent on other people! My relationship with God, however, will never fade way, nor is it dependent on external circumstances or people. Good character is hard to find. It is not just simply external morality, but an internal heart condition. It is a heart that is yielded to God and then in turn produces the FRUIT of THE SPIRIT. Without the evident Fruit….our lives are meaningless. Without fruit we are empty vessels that look pretty and sound pretty.

My worth, Your worth….our sense of well-being…everything, must come from God. We cannot blame society, men or the media for who we choose to be. We cannot blame our parents, our circumstances…we cannot blame Satan for anything we decide to do.

Everyday, I have to make a conscious decision that I will follow Jesus. Everyday I must lay down my life for His Will. Being a christian comes with a daily cost. People believe it’s about blessings…but truly, it is about struggle. It is about being emptied out so that God can pour into…it is becoming a new person…literally. It’s not just bad habits that are being changed but also your very personality!!!!!

SHOCKER! I know. I know. And, while it’s happening, it HURTS. You kick and scream and cry. You fight…you throw tantrums. You ask God “WHY ME”! But then, you think back on all that God has done for you…from the initial dying on the cross, paying the price for our sins and then the intimate dealings in our everyday lives. You realize you owe God everything. And then, you also understand that you are being reborn. It’s for your own good….it truly is for your own good. You are not just going to be beautiful on the outside but a beauty that shines in the likeness of your heavenly father.

You know how people set up trophies on their walls….well….I don’t have a trophy wall. But I have a mental wall of progress. You see, the me in the past would not be saying these things. I’d probably go off, doing my own thing, being mad at God and ignoring His voice. I would be living it up, saying “forget it”! But this new me that is emerging is saying….YOU KNOW WHAT LORD! I AM NOT HAPPY AND I AM UNCOMFORTABLE BUT HAVE YOUR WAY! But whatever you do, do not remove your Spirit from me.…(in King David’s voice).

Nothing is worth losing God for. NOTHING! Not a man, not a career or your education, not family, not your body , NOTHING! Everything you need is in Jesus Christ. If you need anything…”Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.” Philippians 4:6-7

The humble prayer of my heart is simply…LORD, help us to give our thoughts, concerns and our feelings to you. Help us to pray about everything and to keep on praying until we are met with the blessing of incomprehensible peace. Let us be Proverbs 31 Ladies that find our worth in YOU…and not in deceptive and fleeting things.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Do Not Hide

During my time talking to my Heavenly Father, I said something that really got me thinking. I said ” Lord, I will run to you and not hide like Adam did in the garden.”

The “me” from a few years ago, would hide from God. I would not pray, I would not seek him. I would not want to even hear him. I tried to hide ( and I learned very quickly that you cannot hide from God). I just didn’t want to be bothered. I couldn’t open up. I was confined to the borders of my mind and inner world.

That prayer allowed me to see just how much I’ve grown closer to God. I am naturally a private and quiet person but there is something comforting in being open and bare before the LORD.

Because of that prayer and confession, I was able to do what I am not able to do through my own effort. Trust me, it was effortless and came without regret, but my natural self wouldn’t normally do it. I rose above a seemingly annoying situation and can rest knowing that God gets the glory in the end.

There was a reason David was called a man after God’s heart. He was by no means perfect ( I am not condoning sin), but he ran to God for everything. He believed that God would not just hear him, but do something. He believed God would soothe the sting of sin in his life. He believed God could save him from his enemies. He believed it all and ran to God first, unlike Adam, who hid behind the bushes when God visited him and his wife. They hid from God. They tried to cover their shame from God. God never assumes anything even though he knows all and can give his judgement without our input. But God loves talk to us. Communication is the basis of our relationships. He asked Adam: ” where are you”, “who told you?” , and “did you?” God asked questions so we may give him answers. So we may express what is in us. They could’ve said ” God , help us. We disobeyed, save us from our poor decision!” The mercy of God would probably have been there to embrace them. But thank you God that your mercy was prepared before they were even created.

Mercy is wrapped up in a beautiful package. That package came to earth in the form of Jesus. Jesus reminds me daily of what God’s mercy looks like. I don’t have to do anything but run into my Father’s arms and snuggle close to him and say thank you. It is in his love that we find all that we need. Spiritual needs that outweigh everything else. The best part is, God can meet ALL of our needs too…just how he sees fit, as we know what he does is always best for us.

I guess all I wanted to say is that I will approach God boldly, without reserve and without fear. No fear because God is love. No fear because there is no condemnation to those that love Christ.

 

Trust God Even When It Hurts!

I realized in my anger towards God and the confusion around what He is asking me to do, that it all boils down to a lack of trust. Half submission. I want to know everything, why I’m doing it and if it will benefit me in the end. I become discouraged and frustrated when things do not go my way. I over-calculate and want everything to happen and flow exactly how I planned. Life is not that way. People cannot be controlled. Situations change. Trust requires us to be flexible with the outcome. It requires us to bend. It requires us to be obedient even if we don’t see the fruit of our labor today. We might never see it. Maybe the next generations will. Maybe my prayers for this specific person isn’t for me but for someone else. But I would be doing someone such a lovely thing , praying for someone is the best gift you can give them because God is everything we need and He knows how to meet every need.

When I am so caught up in my own world, how things will benefit me in the end, I allow fear to keep me from expressing true love. Do good, pray for others , even if you get NOTHING out of it! There will always be people that don’t mean us well, dangerous and risky situations…and yes…even people that do love us. We do need to know and recognize who is who, but at the end of the day, if we spend so much time protecting ourselves, we will never have time to love others! To experience true joy! The Bible tells us over and over that God is our strong tower and that He is fighting for us.

I wont willingly run into danger but if danger meets me on my road to Christ, I will stand on His word that He will see me through.

Don’t feel guilty for having doubt, fears or worries, but one thing I you must always do is bring every care to Christ. Tell him what is going on. He is faithful to open your eyes to the truth and that truth will faithfully set you free!

So, I will be obedient to what tells me even if it hurts. God knows why He asks me to do certain things and I can only trust that it will help someone in the end. Not my will but yours be done.

 

It’s Time To Go Higher!

I woke up recently, feeling a bit disturbed by my own thoughts and what I have allowed in my own life for the last couple of years. I was displeased in myself for seeking and taking advice from people who knew nothing about my situation, who sometimes gave advice simply to make themselves feel better; and I reduced myself to a mere product of society.

I realized that in the quest for worldly success, all true sense is thrown out the window and we become mindless drones. The quest for superficial beauty, tons of money, and all the comforts in life, drowns out what truly matters most.

I’d sway back and forth between my love for God and my love for success and end up no where anyway.

However, the Lord has been gracious to me, and I see tremendous growth in myself. I thank the Lord for this. It was all because of His pursuit for me to return to Him, that I am where I am today.

The true desire of my heart is to worship the Lord with everything I am. To be who I am outside what other people expect of me, to find my own voice and to silence those that wish to dictate who I should me to sedate their own jealousy. Yes, jealousy. It’s an evil disease of the heart that can infect mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, neighbors and enemies. It can spring up in the depths of a person’s soul and takes a whole lot to remove.

It hurt me for a while to even think that I’d have to fight the jealous scorn of people but there is one thing I realized. I realized that reducing yourself to please people, to get them to love you, to make them leave you alone is not the answer. They will always find something to hate. Always find a reason to put you down. It is not your fault. Even if you have no human support, remember that the Lord loves you.

After reading Psalms 119, my heart was soothed by the words of desperation in the hearts of godly men, who found comfort in the Word of God despite persecution. They threw down the quest for money and pleasure and sought the salvation of the Lord : which is His unfailing love. God tells me all the time,  ” I love you with an unfailing love.” While people in life will let you down, and we will let ourselves down; we can find comfort and strength in the love of God.

It goes on to say that when your enemies rise up against you, focus on the Word of God or His commandments. Instead of trying to find a solution to everything, these men cried out to God for His help. They believed that God is the one that sorts out conflict and they just cling to him and tell everyone about his law.

The more I tried to defend myself, prove myself or succeed to make my enemies feel ashamed, the worse I felt. It can only get you so far. You become so focused on them that you forget about God and yourself. You forget what truly makes you happy. You forget how to live.

True freedom comes from pursuing God. It doesn’t even come from pursuing passions, relationships or success.

Many people will harshly judge a poor man with a great heart but love a rich man with a filthy heart simply because he is successful. God sees that poor, gentle heart and he will always be with him. That is what I want. The comfort and peace of the Lord. I had to suffer, go through pain and hardship to truly understand what matters most. I had to suffer so I could make a conscious decision to give up all the desires of my heart to be with God. And if he so chooses to bless me with all my desires, once more, I must surrender to the process. I must surrender to Him. I must not try to work it out on my own but to hand it all over to him.

This process of surrender is truly hard. It is hard and many days you feel crazy. People will look at you like you’re a lunatic, just as they did Noah who built an ark, Abraham and Sarah who were old and waiting for their promised child and even Jesus who was accused of many things simply because he defied all what people had expected him to be. People will judge you, call you a child of Satan ( even when you know for a fact you serve God), they will isolate you and speak ill of you to your face. Some will put you down any chance you get or even use you for their own selfish ambition.

I’m going to be real here and say, don’t be dainty in your prayers. God already knows your heart. How many times have I lied to myself, trying to work out the scriptures on my own. Do you really think you can love anyone on your own? No, you need God. The Bible encourages us to pray always. David was blunt about his feelings towards his enemies. When Jesus said pray for your enemies, I don’t think he just meant dainty little prayers. Sometimes we need to be honest and say “God, guess what! I do not like this!” Tell him! Ask him! Cry out to him. Don’t curse your enemies but ask God for strength. Ask God to help you sort out your feelings. You don’t need a therapist or a shrink but the ONE who created you and your enemies. And the greatest thing we are to do for our enemies is to tell them about God. Yes! Keep talking about God and who He is to you. Do not shut up your testimony and do not stop talking about the goodness of God. They will get mad, they might even get violent but never shut up about who God is. Don’t enable your enemies. We live in a world where people are afraid to speak the truth and correct. Did Jesus , when he addressed the jealous religious leaders, hold back the truth from them? Did he just keep silent? No! How can anyone know the truth if we hold it in? Is that what love is nowadays?

The church has watered down what love is suppose to look like. We have become a compromised and laid back sort of people. We are afraid to be like the early church and the prophets of old and proclaim the word of God without fear. I have been guilty of this time to time as well.

I have given up all selfish pursuits in this life. When I looked in the mirror of truth recently, I realized that I lost all sense of normalcy. I didn’t know how to eat like a normal person because I was afraid of gaining weight. I forgot how to have fun because I was determined to overcome every single set back in my life. Stress was an intimate friend of mine and I told God one day that He needed to help me or else I’d be dead in a few years. The answer to stress is easy. Submit to the Lord. Truly submit. The answer does not reside in us…it resides in His presence. It resides in knowing who He is as a real person. We call the Trinity the Persons. Well, God is a person  and since He made us in HIS image he has feelings, thoughts and a will like us. It is not natural for me to be dependent on someone, I had to learn dependency through trials, but the more I sought help, the easier life became. We were not created to be a one man or woman band!

My decision is to stop worrying, stop trying to fit everything together like a jig-saw puzzle. Stop over-thinking, stop trying to fix everything and everyone, stop trying to do it all. JUST STOP. Breathe, slow down and then pray. Jesus said do not worry about tomorrow…do not worry about the future because the future has it’s own problems. It’s a day by day process. Everyday! King Solomon was truly wise when He wrote all His words of wisdom down. We want to eat nasty flavorless food in the name of being healthy but the truth is we cannot add another day to our own lives. It is God that determines the course of our lives. But I’ll leave that for another post.

I am on the quest to find understanding! I am on the quest to find wisdom. I am on the quest to find discernment. I am on the quest to find Christ and through Him, see the Father. I know I am up for a challenge of the lifetime because I’ll be fighting Satan, his minions and most of all MYSELF!

No more stretching in areas of life that are wasteful and pointless but to stretch in the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. His word never lies. If I do those things, He will, in His own marvelous way, provide all my needs. It’s time to go higher!

 

A Little Prayer

I’m trusting in you, Jesus

In your promises to me

In the skills you’ve given to me: eyes to see, ears to hear and a mind to think.

A mouth, so that I have a voice, and legs to walk away.

You have given me control of myself and in you I find guidance.

Protect and guide me. I need your peace.

 

Amen.