Tag Archive | Sin

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

Being Vulnerable Isn’t The Answer.

While I understand the idea of being vulnerable, something about this way of living doesn’t seem right to me. I don’t want to be vulnerable. Let’s look at the definition of vulnerability:

adjective
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon:

a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.:

an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend:

a vulnerable bridge.
It basically means being open to attack, criticism and emotional wounds. Now excuse me for a moment but what is so noble about that? I had to take a step back and assess a really well meaning statement from someone but it didn’t sit right with me. I do not follow the crowd or go with what everyone wants to preach nowadays. I conducted a google search, to see if I find any sermons on vulnerability. I did, but I also found psychology articles as well.
The heart is a tender organ. It is also a place where we store our feelings. I keep going back to what Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) : Above all else, guard your heart for out of it flow the issues of life. What are we guarding our hearts from?

Let’s go back to the definition :

  • Moral Attack
  • Criticism
  • Temptation to sin
  • Emotional wounds

When we have a wounded heart, we start living out our wounds. The wounds become sores of bitterness that clouds our judgement and makes it easier for us to sin.

This is why the company we keep is so important. This is why we must deal with the wounds of our hearts from early childhood and continuously in our daily lives.

How does one guard their heart? Great question! This is not something we do in our own power. Time does not heal wounds. Time and complete avoidance also doesn’t protect us. Yes, we must wisely shun temptation and bad influences in every form but for events and circumstances outside of our control, we must have a deep and active relationship with God. We must present our cares, concerns, feelings and wounds to Him. We must be open to Him alone! We must not put our trust in other human beings that have limited knowledge and resources but in the Almighty God who is sovereign: all powerful and all knowing. By the power of His Spirit will He enable us to truly forgive and live freely. In Christ, we have the ability to live godly lives with a PURE HEART. A pure heart is not a wounded one. A wounded heart will eventually seek revenge but a pure heart seeks God. A pure heart accepts God for who He is : A strong tower, a place of refuge and safety.

I learned that the best thing to do is to run to God first. In many cases, God was the only one I could run to. No one understood what I was going through, others didn’t care, and honestly, no one can fix me.

No one can fix us. No one can heal us. No one can deliver us. No one can protect us but God alone. Yes, God sends people into our lives to minister to us but we must always put people in their proper place, giving praise to God alone and allowing it to point back to Him. Anyone or anything that tries to override God’s place in your life is a false god.

Guard your heart, be wise and trust God.

Freedom In Christ

Freedom is a mentality not a condition. How do I know this? Well, the Bible touches on many points about faith and belief in God. We are not putting our mental focus on ourselves, capabilities, or circumstances but we put our faith, hope and trust in Christ who saves us from sin and the sting of death. This brings healing and freedom that self-effort cannot.

It took me two years to become who I am today. We all know that I have been alive for a couple years now (Laugh ) but what I mean is, the transformed person I am today took two years. It was a grueling process of God exposing things in my heart and then making a decision to seek God for help. At first it was hard and confusing. It was unbearable and I found myself running away from God or hiding from Him. Other times I’d get angry, throw a tantrum and say I’m doing my own thing. Lately, I have seen a big change in my response to God. I don’t hide, I don’t run and I don’t throw tantrums. I have learned the seriousness of falling on my face and seeking the Lord for guidance and healing. My mind has changed. No longer do I see things how I use to. In the past, I would be anxious and flighty. Wanting everything to be perfect and instant. But today, I understand the importance of waiting on God and perseverance. Paul says we must run the good race and fight the good fight. David encourages the saints to wait PATIENTLY on God. I have learned that blessings aren’t necessarily material like people want to force feed us today. Blessings are wrapped up in the gift of a relationship with God through Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Blessings are the fruit we produce as we stay connected to the vine (Christ). Blessings can be found in the little daily provisions and the little hands and feet God sends to minister to us. It’s not always about wealth, power and success. It is not about being the best or a know-it-all. It is about receiving God, walking with God and being transformed by God.

Freedom is not a condition. I’m quite sure the same people that made me feel bad for not attaining a certain status or place in life, would have the same thing to say now. Back then, I was very distraught over these things. I would try to work harder and better only to fall right back on my face. But the me now doesn’t care. Say what you want but I am where I need to be. I may not be rich, I may not have flashy things and I may not have much BUT I AM NOT THE SAME! I have changed! The Lord brought me out of my mental Egypt, took the shackles off my mind and melted the cold ice from around my heart. He dried up tears and touched my aching body. So it would be offensive and disrespectful to throw it all in God’s face because of things people say to me. It would be so offensive to throw it all in God’s face when in my mind and spirit I am at peace. I would not trade this for any amount of riches in this world. I have something…a treasure…that no one can take away! I am an asset not a liability.

I hope this encourages you, reader, to accept and have hope. If you are poor and struggling, sick and discouraged; if you feel hurt and betrayed etc. turn your focus on God. Tell Him all that bothers you. Throw your tantrums, cry, scream and yell but whatever you do, don’t turn away. God will meet you where you are and He will help you. That is a promise. Jesus said He is the bread of life and the living waters. He will quench and satisfy the longings of our soul. He will build you up and make you like a strong tree.

One day you will wake up and be at total peace. Nothing on the outside might have changed but YOU CHANGED. Don’t cling to God for material blessings. Christ is more than enough. You must be so in love with Christ that even the threat of death will not turn you away. You must be able to walk away from anything that will come between you and God. That is true freedom!

Obey The Voice of The Lord

I’m not sure what to title this post. I’m not even sure this post will have a specific, main point but I have a few things I need to share for future reference.

  • Disobedience: It is costly. It can cost us our joy, peace, well-being, health, and life both spiritually and physically. It may seem trivial, the things God tells us to do, but He knows why we must do it.
  • Responsibility:  We are responsible for taking care of ourselves and making sure that our spirit and physical bodies are nourished. We are responsible for always being alert and on guard, knowing how to respond in all situations.

Don’t get caught up in petty foolishness. Some times we are tempted to let our guards down. But some conversations are costly. Some conversations can rob us of our peace. We must be picky and choosy about who we spend our time with, the shows we watch, where we go, etc. And if we steer off, run to Jesus and ask Him For forgiveness and help. Honestly, none of these things are possible without Christ. We cannot do anything right without Him. I no longer try to do good because I fail.

But lately my prayers have changed. I ask God to give me strength. I ask God for direction. I ask God for peace. I ask God what to do. I ask God to make me kind and loving. I ask God for all the promises in His word. And then in faith, going about my life…knowing He is faithful to do those things. Even as events are happening in my life, I am whispering a prayer.

When you are in constant prayer, you slow down and are mindful of your surroundings and your own internal feelings. You lift it all up to God and He tells you how to respond.

Disobedience is costly. I take full responsibility for how I am feeling right now. While I have so much to be thankful for, because of my disobedience, I am dealing with trivial feelings that could’ve been avoided. Instead of being thankful with all my heart, my mind is replaying what was meant as a distraction and of no significant purpose.

Guard your heart…..truly…guard it. Protect your heart and mind from everything and anything that will pull you away from the Joy of God.

It is MY responsibility to do so. I know in my heart that today is the LAST DAY that I am dealing with this issue. By faith I believe that God will give me the strength to walk away from pettiness and toxic conversations. It is not my duty to do anything but obey the voice of the LORD.

 

I guess I found a title after all…”Obey The voice of the Lord”.

Do Not Hide

During my time talking to my Heavenly Father, I said something that really got me thinking. I said ” Lord, I will run to you and not hide like Adam did in the garden.”

The “me” from a few years ago, would hide from God. I would not pray, I would not seek him. I would not want to even hear him. I tried to hide ( and I learned very quickly that you cannot hide from God). I just didn’t want to be bothered. I couldn’t open up. I was confined to the borders of my mind and inner world.

That prayer allowed me to see just how much I’ve grown closer to God. I am naturally a private and quiet person but there is something comforting in being open and bare before the LORD.

Because of that prayer and confession, I was able to do what I am not able to do through my own effort. Trust me, it was effortless and came without regret, but my natural self wouldn’t normally do it. I rose above a seemingly annoying situation and can rest knowing that God gets the glory in the end.

There was a reason David was called a man after God’s heart. He was by no means perfect ( I am not condoning sin), but he ran to God for everything. He believed that God would not just hear him, but do something. He believed God would soothe the sting of sin in his life. He believed God could save him from his enemies. He believed it all and ran to God first, unlike Adam, who hid behind the bushes when God visited him and his wife. They hid from God. They tried to cover their shame from God. God never assumes anything even though he knows all and can give his judgement without our input. But God loves talk to us. Communication is the basis of our relationships. He asked Adam: ” where are you”, “who told you?” , and “did you?” God asked questions so we may give him answers. So we may express what is in us. They could’ve said ” God , help us. We disobeyed, save us from our poor decision!” The mercy of God would probably have been there to embrace them. But thank you God that your mercy was prepared before they were even created.

Mercy is wrapped up in a beautiful package. That package came to earth in the form of Jesus. Jesus reminds me daily of what God’s mercy looks like. I don’t have to do anything but run into my Father’s arms and snuggle close to him and say thank you. It is in his love that we find all that we need. Spiritual needs that outweigh everything else. The best part is, God can meet ALL of our needs too…just how he sees fit, as we know what he does is always best for us.

I guess all I wanted to say is that I will approach God boldly, without reserve and without fear. No fear because God is love. No fear because there is no condemnation to those that love Christ.

 

The Seed Is the WORD OF GOD

The seed of faith is the word of God not money. There is a lot of deception floating around about money being a seed. A lot of well meaning people fall into this farce but plain and simple the seed of faith is the word of God and it is planted in our hearts and produces the harvest of the fruit of the Spirit.

The greatest scheme of the enemy is to get us to distort the word of God because the word of God is what produces our harvest. We are to store treasures in heaven not bribe God with money to get a blessing. I hold on to this truth because it is the word of God that will bring my deliverance in all areas of life.

It’s not good works, it’s not going to church every Sunday, it’s not looking the part and saying the right things, but diligently depositing the word of God into the temple and believing that God will produce the increase!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Wholeness is what God wants for us. He wants to make us whole! This means producing fruit in all areas of our lives. Whether it be self-control or showing love towards self and others, or having peace despite all circumstances, etc. These are the things God wants for us.

Another point I want to make is, we must work on ourselves before we can ever minister to others. We must allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us in this way first, being kind to ourselves first before we can ever do so for others. Sometimes God will enable us to help others along the way, but ultimately a relationship with God comes before ministry!

I am at a place where I am allowing God to minster to me. To bring me to a place of wholeness in Him and to rely solely on his Word alone.

This means more to me than any material goals I have. It means more to me than any other relationship I have. Because true peace comes from inside of us not the outside.

No one and no thing can fill the void in our hearts like God can. It is truly the Word of God that sets us free, every single day, step by step. A process we go through every day of our lives.

I learned something important. Sin can be conquered, Jesus told us he already did that. We do not fight sin as believers but TEMPTATION. There is a different. Sin leads to death and is a state. After we are delivered from a sin or a lifestyle/habit of disobedience, we are now walking in obedience and righteousness. We must now preserve this righteous state by resisting the devil aka temptation through prayer and feeding the spirit with God’s word. This is the example that Jesus gave is in the desert. He didn’t allow circumstances : being hungry and tired, deter him from his state of righteousness. He didn’t give into his flesh: literally his natural needs. We too can be like Christ because this he promised us! Cling to the promises of Christ! All that he has done, is freely given to us! What a mighty God we serve!

Money and the lust of the flesh will lead us astray if we put our confidence in that and twist the word for own selfish gain. Being a christian is rewarding, freeing and truly life changing but it comes with a price. It means we give up everything we once knew and take up the cross of Jesus. It means not always having our own way but submitting to a holy God. In time, this becomes our own nature. We feel joy in the things of God and are disgusted by things that God hates. But we must be willing to crucify, kill, destroy, annihilate the flesh. We must resurrect Godly boundaries and walk in humility and God given authority to speak, confess and believe what God promised. We will offend many because we no longer please the world but please God. They will never understand but we must be like Jesus and say ” I’m about my Father’s business.”

Source: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23

Joy In Salvation

There are some people out there that believe that they are God and are entitled to condemn you and dictate your identity in Him.

 

There are people out there that believe your world should revolve around them and their lives. You have no goals or aspirations in life besides catering to their needs.

 

Accept this fact, remove yourself from their influence and pray for them. Not because you are better than them,not for God to teach them a lesson but so that your heart will mend. Pray so that the idols they had tried to resurrect in your life may be cast down.

 

What God says about you, no one can take away. What God says about you, no one can diminish.

 

People will constantly try to make it seem as if you’re the worst person on the planet, all the while they are using your skills and talents and resources for their benefit.

 

Pray for them, that you may not hold onto bitterness. We all will be judged by how we respond to poor treatment.

 

I am learning that none of us can brag or boast in how much better we are than someone else. God looks at the heart. God used many people that by today’s standard would be criminals with no hope for redemption.  I believe we are all precious creations of God. He saw us in our iniquites and still showed us mercy.

Just know what the Bible says about you and cling to that!

In the end, God will give you peace that exceeds all understanding. A joy that people will question where it comes from.

Joy and peace are part of your well being. Don’t throw it away. Cling to God and you’ll always have what you need.