Tag Archive | Strength

Precious Gem

I saw someone today that I knew since childhood. We don’t talk and haven’t talked in many many years.

As I smiled at her and answered some of her questions, I felt two feelings in my heart.

  1. Feeling 1: OMG RUN! She’s going to judge you and your situation. Be embarrassed.
  2. Feeling 2: What is there to be embarrassed about? Life happens. I am a treasure. A precious flower and loved by God. My struggles are not to be ashamed of but to glorify God.

I decided to go with feeling two and in me rose a confidence and peace that I haven’t had in a long time. You know when you just get tired of feeling sorry for yourself. When you realize that nothing is wrong with you and that your pain and suffering is just part of the journey. While writing this, I have hope that my suffering is coming to an end. No, not my life, but this chapter of suffering and pain is coming to an end. I learned so many lessons along the way. I am not who I use to be, even when I thought I was perfect and amazing. I am finally human. A human with feelings and an ear to hear the Lord.

I can finally smile from my heart because I am no longer concerned about how I will get to the other side. I have my moments of sorrow and despair but I know I can never ever hit rock bottom again.

This time around, I am stronger and wiser. Just like Apostle Paul , I know what it’s like when things are going somewhat well and when times get rough. I know I will survive because of Christ and his Spirit that orders my steps.

That doesn’t mean I’m going volunteer information, just for the sake of blabbering my mouth (rolls eyes). What it does mean, is that at the end of the day my life is not defined by just the good or just the bad but is a collective narrative of MOI.

I am celebrating my life TODAY! I refuse to wait until things seem to be better. Life is a gift and my life is precious. You have to remember that even when things seem to be falling apart, destruction all around and disappointment wants to fill your heart with stone. It is not your burden to carry alone. Everyone has a story and you’d be surprised to hear what they have gone through as well.

YOU ARE A PRECIOUS TREASURE!

Don’t forget.20170405_151357

Do Not Hide

During my time talking to my Heavenly Father, I said something that really got me thinking. I said ” Lord, I will run to you and not hide like Adam did in the garden.”

The “me” from a few years ago, would hide from God. I would not pray, I would not seek him. I would not want to even hear him. I tried to hide ( and I learned very quickly that you cannot hide from God). I just didn’t want to be bothered. I couldn’t open up. I was confined to the borders of my mind and inner world.

That prayer allowed me to see just how much I’ve grown closer to God. I am naturally a private and quiet person but there is something comforting in being open and bare before the LORD.

Because of that prayer and confession, I was able to do what I am not able to do through my own effort. Trust me, it was effortless and came without regret, but my natural self wouldn’t normally do it. I rose above a seemingly annoying situation and can rest knowing that God gets the glory in the end.

There was a reason David was called a man after God’s heart. He was by no means perfect ( I am not condoning sin), but he ran to God for everything. He believed that God would not just hear him, but do something. He believed God would soothe the sting of sin in his life. He believed God could save him from his enemies. He believed it all and ran to God first, unlike Adam, who hid behind the bushes when God visited him and his wife. They hid from God. They tried to cover their shame from God. God never assumes anything even though he knows all and can give his judgement without our input. But God loves talk to us. Communication is the basis of our relationships. He asked Adam: ” where are you”, “who told you?” , and “did you?” God asked questions so we may give him answers. So we may express what is in us. They could’ve said ” God , help us. We disobeyed, save us from our poor decision!” The mercy of God would probably have been there to embrace them. But thank you God that your mercy was prepared before they were even created.

Mercy is wrapped up in a beautiful package. That package came to earth in the form of Jesus. Jesus reminds me daily of what God’s mercy looks like. I don’t have to do anything but run into my Father’s arms and snuggle close to him and say thank you. It is in his love that we find all that we need. Spiritual needs that outweigh everything else. The best part is, God can meet ALL of our needs too…just how he sees fit, as we know what he does is always best for us.

I guess all I wanted to say is that I will approach God boldly, without reserve and without fear. No fear because God is love. No fear because there is no condemnation to those that love Christ.

 

I Am Simply Me

I have learned, in my short time on this earth, that I am not responsible for anyone but myself. I am not my race, I am not my country, I am not even the people within my faith. I am me and I can only do what I can to ensure that I do the right thing. People will continue to label me due to the fact that I am a black woman. I can do everything in my power to overcome stereotypes but at the end of the day that will not change anything. Despite that, I will continue to be who I am and stay true to higher values. I will not try to overcome stereotypes, nor will I internalize hatred from other races and even my own. Be strong, respectful and full of love. Celebrate who you are and continue to strive for excellence. Either they will judge you based on your character or they will choose to judge otherwise. That’s their business. 

Unique…

The more unique you are the harder life is. Why? Because you are different and people do not like when things are different. Insecurity sets in because they cannot control or define you. It scares them and in response they either hate or ignore you. That’s OK because there is something that the unique possess: the natural ability to shine no matter where they are or what they face. Even in weakness they are made beautiful.